We are not alone in this universe. Whoever or whatever is out there could just be curious about human life. Or they may be hostile? Whatever the case the fact is, you could be at risk of alien abduction at any moment. Our Alien Protection Ransom Insurance and Liability cover, offers you comprehensive protection against the unexpected (as in the completely, totally and utterly unexpected).
- Coverage for the costs incurred by Hong Kong’s top scientists for locating you and, if necessary, negotiating your release;
- Coverage for any ransom payable to Aliens to secure your release
- Reimbursement for Income lost during your period of Alien Abduction;
- Loss of income protection, if you lose your job because your boss doesn’t believe you when you tell him your absence from work was due to alien abduction;
- Costs of divorce, when your spouse refuses to stay with you because he or she refuses to believe your abduction claims and thinks you were out doing something else;
- Liability coverage, should you be responsible for any damage to property on your return to earth (i.e. damage to crops, by reason of the creation of crop circles).
- Universe-wide coverage;
- Medical costs for treatment following (i) alien probing; and (ii) mind erasure;
- Additional Extension for any pets abducted with you (exclusion for Chihuahuas)
- HKD10 million coverage limit (or equivalent in cyberspace currency)
- Cover limited to two alien abductions during any annual policy period
- Exclusions: Fraud; Sanctions; Acts of God; Terrorism; Abduction of Chihuahuas; Abductions from Peng Chau
Apparently, Hong Kong has one of the world’s highest life expectancies (84 years old), but it is one of the least happy places in the world. That type of contradiction is likely to make anyone curious, especially anybody visiting this planet for the first time and looking to learn more. That’s why we believe Hong Kong is high-risk for alien abduction.
We accept any of the following in support of your claim:
- A selfie with one of more of your alien captors.
- Any “friend” request from your alien abductors on social media
- Any type of alien body part which you have managed smuggle out of captivity;
- 25 Independent witnesses.
Don’t forget to file your police report and keep your original receipts for any expenditure!
We don’t. We reserve the right to define it when you make a claim. It’s easier that way. (The policy doesn’t need to be that long).
Getting abducted once by aliens is unlucky. Getting abducted twice is careless. Three times, well, you must be doing something really wrong. Either that, or you have a heightened attraction to aliens and we just can’t handle that risk.
Chihuahuas look a bit like aliens. As such there is a greater risk of abduction on the basis that, aliens might see a Chihuahua and feel compelled to rescue it as one of its own. We simply can’t take that level of risk.
Peng Chau is such a great island. It’s quiet, it’s conveniently only a short ferry ride away and has a wonderfully relaxed vibe. The people who live there are also really nice. If aliens were to land anywhere in Hong Kong out of choice, it would definitely be Peng Chau. There’s no way we can take that risk.